Honey Boy (2019) Review
To say I was traumatized by this film is only slightly incorrect. Any traumas it brought to light, which in my own case it actually did, we’re already there when I went in.
Knowing what I did about the film which I learned from the Landmark letter from director Alma Har’el (www.landmarktheatres.com/honey-boy-filmmaker-letter), I expected to feel a connection between the events of the film and the events of my childhood. The main focus of the film was the relationship between and up and coming twelve-year-old and his somewhat abusive father. What I didn’t expect is the abuse or abusive scenes to be done in such subtle ways that, while I was even watching it, memories of my own childhood flashed into the forefront of my mind. I intended to find the actual moments of the father’s abuse in the film and it made me look deeper into everything he said and did. Through this process, it made me think about my own past, and similar events that transpired. It made be believe that I had never truly seen them for what they are, and for what exactly they had done to me. Shia did an amazing job portraying a nonchalant monster that passively broke his son down to keep himself on top of their relationship. Throughout the film their dynamic sways almost always in his favor, but I won’t spoil exactly how that tilts for them. I usually go into a film expecting to either enjoy the crafting of it, fall into another world for a bit or just to have a laugh, but this movie dug itself into me and made me bring up memories I forgot I had forgotten. Watching the credits with the photos of Shia’s real father, whom he was portraying in a way in the film, made me think of the photos I have of myself with my father, and what kind of dark memories hid behind our smiles as well.
Thankfully, it’s also a masterfully made film. It’s one of few that actually profits from the time jumping technique. The film cuts from the son, Otis, being somewhere in his late 20’s I would guess, in the midst of an acting career and the consequences of his childhood forming into DUI’s and rehab, back to his twelve-year-old days back with his father. Through each part of the therapy he receives at rehab in the future, we see the events that transpired in the past that brought him to therapy in the first place. Just as the rest of the film did, his therapeutic breakthroughs struck a chord with me. It made me believe that I could benefit from similar processes. It made me look into myself and my past and wonder if there was really anything wrong with it, wonder if there is something I too have been drowning out and allowing to build up. A repressed past that I too have forgotten until this movie came along and reminded me of what happened.
I’ve never felt such a personal impact from a film that it makes me believe that somehow, the people behind it knew me, akin to the way Alma says she knew Shia in the letter. The next time I see this film, I hope I’m ready. More ready than I was today. I hope to be healthier, more aware and cognizant of myself. While I could try to blame this movie for the idea of pursuing healing from my past, I would rather say that this film simply reminded me that those wounds were even there. Without it, I might have gone on for who knows how long still carrying all of this. I can’t thank those responsible for the film enough for how it has helped me.
There’s much to say for the performances of everyone involved, and I was also amazed to find that Shia actually wrote it as well as starred, which is always an impressive show of multitasking. My focus, though, is in what it did to me, so if you’re looking for a review on what kind of a movie it is, and if it’s any good, I would say anyone seeking a well written story, a cohesive narrative, amazing performances and beautiful cinematography, I’d give this a watch. I would say that on your way in to the cinema, however, that you grease up your heart strings, because if you have any past involving abuse, no matter how serious you think it was, this film will pluck hard.
